“There is a girl on Tik Tok who goes on various dates and documents how her dates went. She hasn’t been successful even after a carefully curated schedule of dates and the issues she highlights are common in the dating scene. It also shows that our lived experiences are sometimes very similar and many people may be going through the same thing in life while feeling alone in their experience. So many people would love to meet their partners organically. The old-fashioned way. The month of June has seen Twitter users make fun of the old-fashioned ways they’d like to meet their life partners:”
One of the most successful pairings I have witnessed is when both partners have given up looking – it just isn’t worth the effort. My wife and I started dating after I had relocated to her home town and she had been widowed some five years. We both were not looking ‘for love,’ especially me, having just arrived in town. But if we had both not gone through some rather tumultuous relationships before we met, the marriage may not have lasted until her death last year.
I believe it really helps to first know who you do not want in order to appreciate when you find someone you do want. I had all kinds of crushes in college, that I am very glad never panned out. They would have been disastrous in hindsight. And yet, I thought I ‘would die’ if I didn’t win her heart. My ‘lust’ certainly would override my ‘love’ for any one of them. Somehow, it is all very embarrassing now that I look back on it.
One thing that my wife and I did not employ was on-line dating (it was not available). All that swiping and ghosting, gas-lighting and other abuses have brought ‘the fear of dating’ to a new level. The convenience of the dating apps has been countered with some of the worst abuses imaginable. ‘Hooking up’ with another has become the playboy’s delight; and many a date has become a living nightmare. The mindset, in too many cases, has gone from elation to manipulation for/on that first date. And the ol’ adage “buyer beware” is in full force.
